DOG GONE IT!!!

 Morgan, 12 years old

 Freida, 9 years old and Morgan

 Cocoa Puff, 7 years old and Freida

 Morgan

 The 3 girls with alien eyes....

 Freida with no teeth.....

 a bottom view, (she has 1 tooth left in her mouth, from crappy prior owners)

 ha!!! how'd thos get in there!! love it!

 Freida, giving you all some tongue....

 Morgan all snuggled.

The little darlings after grooming with their scarves. 


Ok, are you wienered out?  Have you had enough?  It was so hot out today.....I was having my "dog days of summer."  So I apologize.  It spilled over on here.  Of course, my wieners are real.  None were hurt in the making of this blog.  Please do not attempt to eat one of them....they will bite.  I was nibbling and accidentally nibbled TOO hard.  OOOOOOps,  yeah, not a pretty sight.  Poop everywhere........yeah.  The wieners didn't want to be seen with ME!!!!!   hahahaha!!  Nah, I didn't poop, silly.  Anyway, they are just for decoration and petting....NOT FOR EATING.   

 

More Company's Coming....Yeah!!!

My middle sister Denise and two of her kids will be arriving in a week.  I am very excited for her to come.  She is driving from Omaha, NE.  So it will be a loooooooong ride with her kiddoes.   Hope she is patient.  It takes just about 24 hours.  That is if you drive it straight.  

 This was when I got my nose pierced and they made fun of it!!! My sister Denise and her daughter Lily.  The one that is coming out to see me!

 Here is Emily, Chris' daughter, Christopher her son, my brother Dennis who is a twin with Denise (in yellow with doggy) and also Nicholas Christine's oldest son.  This was while she was in the hospital during her heart surgery.  My brother had come up from Texas.  

 Emily and Nicholas and Denise at her house in Omaha.  

 Christopher, Emily and Charlie at Denise''s house on Mothers Day.  


Charlie and Lily (from the top picture) are coming along with Niece, to make sure she is a good girlie on the trip!!  ha ha  Charlie will help drive, Lily will navigate and poor lil Niece will be biting her nails in the back seat!!!  NOT!!  Anyway, they leave Wednesday to come here and I can't wait.  Wishing my other sissy could come too.  But I know she has cardiac rehab, and she would never survive the trip and all the shopping and stress of it all.   Poor lil toone.  We will have a special trip just us, very soon.  You will see.   


Anyhooopsss,  I gotta go.  Someone has to go enjoy this nice weather.  There is a pool no one is floating in.   Gotta go give it some attention.  

Gone, gone, gone......

My company left yesterday and it was very hard to let them go.  I missed my brother as soon as he pulled out of the driveway.  He is never one to stay in one place very long.  He is just like my daddy was.  He can't sit still and has to be moving around doing something all the time.  We didn't sit still for a moment while they were here.  

                Day one, we took a ride on the Minnesott Ferry to Oriental.  So hot.....98*.

 Lydia and Mona, I jokingly said I would post these on Facebook saying these were my Mexican housemaids!!! They were cooking authentic Mexican fare for my honey.....fresh tortillas and all!!

                                                Enjoying our visits and mealtime chat.

      Dennis, Jordy and Sammy.  They loved their Uncle Denden.  He played with them all the time!!

Dennis doing the "Nestea Plunge" in our new pool!!  He is making sure it works good.  It was not quite full yet.  We just got it set up, and they couldn't WAIT to get in!!! I wanted more water in it.  LOL

                                               At Atlantic Beach, my Denden and Lulu. 

                                       Me, Sammy and Denden just resting from the awful heat.

So, anywhooo, that was a little bit of what we did.  Except for the shopping and all the eating.   They didn't stay too long.  I wish they would of stayed for a few more days but Lydia, I call her Lulu, has to go back to work on Thursday.  And Mona's hubby kept calling her like 5-6 times during the day.  He was sooooo lonely.  She had never left home before without him!  In 50 years.  So I feel pretty special that she would come here for her first trip.  

Well, I have work to do.  I have more company coming in a couple weeks!!  My sister and her kiddo's are coming for a week from Omaha.  Back to the drawing board.  Have a wonderful Monday everbooby!!  

Happy 4th of July and Company's a Coming!!

Wishing everyone out in bloggy land a safe and blessed 4th of July with family, friends and furry ones.  Please take special care with the little ones when setting off the loud kabooms.  The human ones and the furry ones alike.  I have 3 little wieners that are terrified of loud noises and dread the fireworks for this reason.  No amount of loving and coddling can comfort them.  So for those not protected, I worry.  

 My brother and his wife and sister are on their way out to my pad from Austin, TX for about 10 days.  I am sooooooo excited.  They have never been to this side of the world.  We have BIG plans of thrifting, crafting, shopping, swimming in our new pool, and of course, lots of good eating!!! They are arriving tomorrow!!! Yeah!! 

After they leave. just a week later, my other sister and her kids are coming for a week from Omaha, NE!!!  I can't believe all my luck and all the company I am having!!!  I am sooo excited they get to see my newly renovated master bedroom suite, plus get to visit me too!! How cool is that??  We will spend alot of our time at the beach with the kids.  One is 21, the other is 16, so it will be quite imperative to stay busy, busy, busy!!!!

 Well, that's not all folks!! I got more!!! After she leaves.....I take off for two luxurious weeks to Ft. Walton Beach, FL to see my other two babies Molly and Delilah......

Yeah these two scrumptious cupcakes to lavish them with kisses and sniff their youthfulness out of them!!! Yup, I do that....I steal their youngness right out of them.....just by inhaling their smell.  I love it.  Nothing like the smell of wriggly little babies....specially when they have cake all over them.  Nom, Nom!!!  

Well, I think that's all I have for now.  I will have more pictures to post after our festive feast from tomorrow!  Have a safe one now.  Be responsible.  God Bless!! 

 

Zipping Away For Our 30th Anniversary!

We decided to try something really exciting for our 30th anniversary so we went ZIP LINING!!!  Me, who is afraid of heights, doesn't ride any of the rides at the fair, or go on the roller coaster......yup....I was going to try this.  You only have one 30th annversary, right?  What is the worse that could happen?  You already lived through 30 years of marriage!  tee hee

                                                       Getting geared up for the zip!!

                   Sailing through the trees with the simplest of ease!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

My honey and I on one of 4 suspended swinging bridges.  Yeah, I'm hanging on for dear life!

                                               Me again on another suspension bridge. 

                                                              Jim, the swinger.....

Moi, on the last zip line of the day.....there were 8 total, and we wanted to go back and do them again!!  The guides had enough for the day, BUMMER!!!!!

                                                  Us overlooking the waterfalls. 

                                              Our Whole Group, plus Guides

Our whole weekend was wonderful!  We definately will do this again.  If you get a chance to do this some time, we highly recommend it. 

If She Wasn't My Sister I'd Slap Her!!!

Yeah, you heard me right!!!  She has scared me sooo many times!!!  OK, I will just pinch her, really hard then.  Slapping isn't nice.  lol  She has been through a bunch this last month.  OK, I will just give her the ole evil eye then.  Hows that?  She is still not out of the woods.  I left there last week.  When I left her, she was doing fine.  She was on the road to recovery.  Then things went downhill from there.  I think she just wants me to go back and be with her, don't you? 

Poor little toone, as I was driving across the country, singing at the top of my lungs to stay awake, all I could think about was her.  All the what ifs, and all that.  Butt, I just had to go cuz my tags on me lil car were about to expire, and you don't want that to happen while your traveling!!  Ehhhhhh that would be a biggie fine!!!

Anyway, back to my sissy....she was doing good,  then she got to where she couldn't breathe good.  WTH???  So, the day I left, they tapped her lung that had fluid in it, and removed 2 litres of fluid from it!!!  OHHHH EMMMMM GEEEEEE!  I was eating when I got that little bit of info.....(puked a little) butt she could breathe a whole lot better and was walking more.  So, one step back, two steps forward.  Or so we thought.  The next day, she got her catheter out thinking that her kidneys were well on their way.  So they thought.  She was making urine on her own.  Which is what kidneys are supposed to do.  Butt, and here is a BIG BUTT, they had her on LASIX.  This is a major diuretic.  It was doing all the work.  She had sustained quite a bit of damage to her kidneys from her surgery due to her blood pressure being so low and her being sooooo weak.  And of course, they wouldn't of known all this had they not taken her line out, and her catheter.  Her lab numbers started to climb.  Well all them were all out of whack.  Her hemoglobin was way low again.  So they gave her two more units of blood on Monday.  She went into atrial fibrillation all night, so they corrected that with meds.  That is and irregular and high heart rate.   She was also very anxious for some reason.  I don't know why, can you think of any reason?  lol  So she got meds for that too.  I have been trying to post her status at least every other day on Facebook.  So if you follow me or her there, you can keep up with her.  My page is on the bottom of my blog, if you want to follow along...I will friend you.  Just let me know you are a friend of hers.  She doesn't have access to a computer yet, but her son Nicholas will set her up with a notebook when she gets to rehab.  So she will be connected again.  I just spoke with her and it looks like she will be released tomorrow to rehab!!!  YEAH!!!  She does not need dialysis now.   So glad of all that! 

On a different note,  I just know that you are dying to see these babies of mine, right?  haha  Well, here you go: 

My lil Delilah, who will be 1 in a week!

Molly, 4 and sister Dee!

Jordan, 6 and my only grandson Sammy, 3!

There we go, that should hold you for a good 2-3 days.....until I break out the new camera and go hog wild on the critters!!  LOL  Oh wait, did you say critters???  How could I forget them?  Poor little neglected poopers.....Thats Morgan, the oldest, she is 12. 

This one is Freida, she is 9ish, and has the least amount of teeth. So her lil tongue hangs out.  So darn cute.  We call her Fre Fre for short. 

And the tiniest and youngest is our Cocoa Puff.  Both her and Morgan are chocolate.  Freida is red.  Cocoa is around 7ish.  Since we adapted them, we don't know their exact age.  We do know Morgan's since we have her papers.  Yup, I'm a weiner loving mama.  I even got a tatt on my wrist of one!!  Crazy girlie that I am. 

My surgery is @ 1pm today (thursday).. The cellulitis in my feet is nearly gone so it’s time to move forward. My mind won’t stop racing though, even after the pain meds I take. So many things scaring me, making me feel pain in my soul, and it feels like I have left too many strings hanging, with no time to at least macramé them together and tie up the loose ends.

I realize no one can put every little thing in their lives, in absolute order. My kids know that I love them, as well as my sisters and brother. I have just spent some time with all of us together and I’m ok in that department. Said what I wanted to say etc…

But I am still very unsettled about Diane and I, what occurred, and how things remain today. I haven't resolved anything, I have not found a peaceful way to truly let go, and if something DOES happen to me, I don't want to leave this world carrying the pain that is still in my heart. I can hear everyone saying  “don't be stupid, Chris, you will be alright and make it through this.”  But what if I  don't? There’s no one I can talk about this with because they don't want to face it, or lose me… But alone in bed when I cant sleep, it is one of the things I think about. How can I resolve it? I don’t know how to… I don't want to leave my family, specially my kids.. and I guess if I don't make it, I will never know … I have things I have wanted to say, to do, to experience… I’m not ready to be done with life yet. I’m scared of this surgery and the possible outcome.

I have wasted alot of years in my life, and in retrospect I could just kick my ass for doing so. At the time, with what I knew, and the lack of confidence and self esteem I lived within, they were the only choices I could see to make. I can see now that the first 30 years of my life decisions were made out of fear of losing David, rather than what would be best for me or what I wanted.. It didn't matter if I faintly desired another direction for myself, with out him, it was too scary to even contemplate let alone take a risk to try. I lived through him, nothing was real unless it came through him.. and nothing meant anything without him…. much like a little girl looks to her father for. I didn't get my needs met originally with my dad, and no matter how desperately I tried to get it through my husband, I couldn't fill in the blanks. If I could do it over again, this time with feeling whole inside, confident, and had enough self esteem to believe I was enough all by myself, I would have made different decisions for my life. That basic foundation is usually built during childhood, by loving, kind parents that reflect how beautiful you are, back to you, and sort of teach you to see yourself like that… in a positive light, rather than the darkness of shame.  Even at the age of 32 when I first began to question the belief system I learned from my parents, that wasn't the proper time to learn the basics… Although I caught up on things, learned things I should have known from early childhood, it wasn't enough. It’s never as good as the original would have been. I have always felt like damaged goods, that I was missing something because of my naiveté and gull ability. which then made me just feel stupid. And there are SO many people who take advantage of some one like me, like clergy, teachers, neighbors, authority figures.. etc.. they used their power against me to hurt me and make themselves appear larger than life at my expense.

What am I supposed to do if I didn't have the needed skills to be one of the strong people, able to be self sufficient? I guess I’ll never know and it feels like my time to do so, is running out. I am almost in a panic to finish up old business, yet I'm stuck in sludge and cant make a move to do so. Looking back over my life tonight, right now in this moment, my first thought is, “IS THAT ALL?”  It cuts me like a knife, it does.. to realize that is my truth. And if, IF I am given the chance to make it through this surgery, my goal will be to do what I want to do, say what I want to say, live life to the fullest that I can… and never look back. That sounds so good, eh? Now I just need to do it. No more living through other people. I will be selfish and live for myself. 

I just feel like crying, actually I have been as I write this post. I want to rinse my soul clean, until all the pain I have been in, washes down the drain, so I can begin fresh again, pure, peaceful, and with love for  myself. I have been too long without it.

 

C

uPdaTe … mY brOken heArt will bE heAled wiTh suPer glUe & cheRRios…

I spent a few hours yesterday writing a very long post about what is going on with me.. then I posted it, without checking to see if it posted. When I looked at it this morning, I noticed only the first few sentences had copied and so then I thought WTF, all those thoughts gone. I know I saved it, but can’t find it! Maybe it will show up for dinner at some point and after I beat the crap out of it, I will post it all again.

Actually I am in the hospital due to chest pain, that started last Friday. After an onslaught of tests, SURVEY SAYS my heart needs an overhaul and a pair of new earrings. I need to look perdy cuz I will be having a triple bypass and aortic valve replacement, with fries and cottage cheese on the side. No biggie. I could probably do it meself since I am a nurse but I'm gonna pamper myself and pay some one to do it for me, just this one time.. 

Am I scared? Yes. Shitless.

Am I gonna cry like a girl? You bet your arse.

Have I run into any cute doctors? Yes but I'm a lady and always apologized.

My whole family came together to be with me as the surgery was supposed to be last Thursday, however I developed cellulites in both feet and ankles 2 days prior and the next day I woke up with bursitis on my left kneecap and cannot walk without assistance.  So the date was moved to Monday. That had to be cancelled as well because I still have the infections...  So now we are aiming for Wedsday.

Today, however,  I awoke from my nap only to find that I lost 100 lbs in my sleep,  and have no idea where that wandering  little tub’O’lard  went.  Consequently, no surgery until the infections are gone, which is hopefully soon as I am getting the top guns of antibiotics and they should be kicking in by now.  I  hate waiting on things, specially for a life saving surgery... as Janis Joplin once said  "come on and take it, take another little piece of my heart out, baaabbbyyyy.."

The pain meds I am on are really messing with me head. I will start to say one thing, doze off, then pick up as if I were still in the same conversation when I am not, it makes for awkward yet funny delicious moments.

I will keep you posted, peeps...

C

 

PS

My cleavage is already grieving, she may need a 12 step program... or on going therapy just to deal… Who knows, possibly EST.

For My Daddy, Happy Birthday!!

Me, (in pink) Dad, and my sister Denise, 1966, Malone, NY.

After the divorce, the little guy is my

half brother Kenny.

My mom and dad met in Quebec City, Canada at the Chateau Frontenac on the promenade in 1953.  As the story goes, it was love at first sight.  They were married in 1954 a short time later.  My mom did not speak any English and dad spoke very little French.  I guess they spoke the language of love.  They moved to my dad’s birth place in Connecticut.  That is where all of us were born.  There are 4 of us.  Some of you may know my oldest sister C, known as “ No Drama For the Mama”, then there is a pair of twins, Denise and Dennis, and then I am the baby!!  The marriage didn’t last too long with dad being gone on the road all the time, mom had all of us alone all the time.  She had some suspicions about him which were, in the end, true.  So the inevitable was divorce, and a big move for mom and us kids. 

Our humble little house in Malone, NY.

Here we lived out our days until we all went our separate ways.  Dad would come visit us when he would pass through on his truck routes which were not too often.  We would cherish those times.  We had a hard but good life in our little house in upstate NY.  I think back on all those years….some good, some not so good.  I just wish I could of known my daddy more.  Happy birthday to you, and hope to see you again one day!  I love you!  xxxxxx oooooo