I’m watching the world’s dumbest criminals and this guy and his girl, drunk as a crap, higher than a kite, show up at the police station, to get a ride home. that is not the funny part. while they are standing there waiting….he is playing with himself….no lie….she is staggering back and forth…..swaying to the music, (i don’t think there really was any playing, i didn’t hear any) and then she goes to sit on the bench. bless her little inebriated heart, she misses it by about a foot and falls flat on her butt! he runs over to her and yells, “get up bitch, you want to get caught?” then the police happen to stroll out, lol, and catch them yelling at each other. they happen to frisk them. the fella has some weed in his shoe, and you know what he says? “what, thats not mine….its orgegano!” Talk about your rotten luck! DUMMIES!
This is not in the stupid category, but funny anyway... going to visit dad in law at the nursing home tonight….we sat down to chat with him, asked him what was new like we always do. he said, “i shit my self.” i just almost fell off the couch. i tried not to laugh, cuz it wasn’t really funny, but then it was. i didn’t want to look at my husband then i knew i would lose it. i glanced at mom in law, saw her nostrils flare cuz she was holding it in, but then dad started to giggle about it and so we all guffawed and had a laugh about it. me, well, i got so tickled it lasted a bit longer, like maybe 30 or so minutes. i had to walk away. yup, you can’t take me anywhere. well, if you shit yourself, don’t expect me to keep a straight face, k? just sayin’.
3 comments:
Oh, your poor FIL! I would have had to walk out of the room as soon as he said it, though, cuz I wouldn't have been able to hold in the laughter!
i almost crapped myself, and good thing i wasn't taking a drink of something either, we would have to go change him AGAIN!! and then there is this guy down the hall, his name is ted, poor thing, all he does is yell, let me go! hey! come here! hey mo! some me and honey figured he was one of the 3 stooges calling for his buddies. then there is our lil lady that has alzheimers and stutters. she is so cute. very frail. her daughter comes the same time we do every night and walks her around, in her wheel chair. so when she comes near, we hear da da da da really fast and it is musical and cute and she is adorable. with ted in the background, it is quite the show. every now and then you might get another one yelling in response to "shut up!" but that is sometimes the exception and not always the rule. life is very colorful....yes indeedy....did i mention the smell? ok, i won't go there. you don't want to know. yup lifes a bowl a pits with a bunch a cherries on the side!
oh and chris? before your mind completely goes? you need to write all the funny crap that has every happened, k? cuz i'm forgetting it. i totally forgot about the beets. not the broken chair...i have a scar i think from that, but i bet chi chi and funny would love to hear these. i love to hear them laugh! not to mention you, you have such a cute laugh! go on, write your little heart out!
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